


give you my sunshine

by duelistkingdom



Series: 12 days of Christmas 2020 [4]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Holidays, Light Angst, long distant relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28110681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duelistkingdom/pseuds/duelistkingdom
Summary: anzu's been feeling a little down during the holidays since it's the first time she's spending them alone.
Relationships: Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner/Mutou Yuugi, peachshipping - Relationship
Series: 12 days of Christmas 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054562
Kudos: 7





	give you my sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to ruby for beta'ing this <3

This year in New York City had been a little rougher than Anzu had ever thought possible. While she was grateful for the chance to chase her dreams, she was bogged down by the fact she missed Yugi, who was still in Domino City. She thought every day about how Atem had left Yugi and even though Yugi insisted she still leave for New York City, she felt guilty for leaving him alone. It meant that for the past four months, Anzu was thinking of Yugi and how uncomfortable it was to not be able to just go see him any time she wanted. Over the phone, she had suggested she might fly back to Domino City for the holidays and that had fallen through. The last of her money had been spent on rent and international flights were too expensive around Christmas time. She was stuck in New York City.

She had told Yugi this over the phone last week and she hated that she had to do it over the phone. In her opinion, telling someone that she couldn’t be there with them during the holidays should be done in person. But an entire country and ocean stood between them. To her great surprise, he had told her to not worry about it and that they’ll figure something out. She didn’t know what he meant by that. All she knew was that she missed him. It was going to be the first time that they hadn’t spent Christmas together. It was the first time that she wasn’t with the Mutou’s during Hannukah lighting the menorah every night with them and she wasn’t sure what to do with that information. She knew it should hold some more weight than it currently did in her mind but perhaps she just didn’t want to think about it.

Anzu had been doing that a lot lately. She overthought everything. It was in her nature to worry about her friends. It was probably why she spent more time than ever in the dance studio, focusing more on the pulsing rhythm of the pop track assigned in her class over literally anything else. The more hours meant that Anzu had her teacher privately suggesting auditions for her and promising that she’d find Anzu a role once she graduated. Which meant being in New York City longer than planned, which meant even more hours at practice. She barely noticed anymore that she was at the dance studio more often than the apartment she spent all her money on. Bitterly, she thought that instead of spending the money on the apartment she should just live in the studio instead.

Not only that, Anzu really didn’t have that many friends in New York City. Almost all the girls hated her for the amount of time she put into practice and saw her as a rival over a friend. None of them wanted to get too friendly with the competition. She supposed that was for the best in the end. These girls were set to be her rivals when she graduated, after all. Might as well get used to the concept of having rivals now. And yet she’d lied and told Yugi that of course she’d made new friends in New York City and that everything was going perfectly well. In truth, Anzu had never felt more alone. Her apartment was, once again, empty when she got home. Two of her roommates had gone home for the holidays and the third must still be at work. It was then that it hit Anzu that she really would be spending Christmas alone.

She allowed herself to crumple up into herself on the couch and cry over this. She allowed herself to feel the ache she’d denied herself for so long. She’d been missing everyone for so long and bottling it up so she didn’t fall apart. It was a lot more than she expected to feel all at once. She thought that this would feel magical but it didn’t. It felt like she was out of money, constantly missing someone, and she was barely keeping it together as it is. She didn’t want to worry her parents so she lied and told them she was fine. And by all accounts, she was. Rent was paid on time every month. The food in the kitchen wasn’t the best but it wasn’t like she was going hungry by any account. She was acing all her classes. No, the strain was purely mental instead. She was surprised when she heard a knock on her door.

If there was one thing Anzu had learned about New York City, it was that neighbors never knocked on each other’s door no matter what. There was little sense of community here which only added to the sterile feeling the city gave off. She even barely saw her roommates and it seemed like they went out of their way to avoid interacting. So who could be knocking at her door? Anzu got up, grabbing a bat just in case. She was prepared to swing when she opened the door and the man in the doorway put his hands up. “Anzu,” Yugi said, eyes wide, “It’s just me!”

She dropped the bat out of surprise. “Yugi,” she asked, more shocked than anything. How did Yugi get here? He was carrying a suitcase and she had to imagine that he must be here for a while if he brought a change of clothes. Her mind was reeling. Suddenly she wished she’d showered and put on something nicer after getting home from the dance studio. “I thought you didn’t have any money to take an international flight!”

Oh, how nice it was to talk in her native tongue with someone she knew again. Sure, there was the Japanese neighborhood full of immigrants like her that also spoke Japanese. But there was something comforting about the fact that she _knew_ Yugi. It wasn’t a fleeting connection based on one singular trait. Speaking English was draining for her. “I made Kaiba pay for the flight,” Yugi said with a shrug. “He owes me.”

In Anzu’s opinion, what Kaiba owed Yugi extended far beyond a simple international flight to see her but she wasn’t about to start in on Kaiba now. Not when Yugi was here. Yugi, who went out of his way to come and see her. Yugi, who knew her better than anyone else. Her pain fit in the palm of his hand and he was willing to carry it with her. “I’m glad you came,” she said softly, taking his hand and pulling him into the apartment. “Uh, my room’s over here,” she said, pointing towards the extremely narrow hallway. There was only two bedrooms and both were rather tiny. Thankfully, she had the room to herself over the holidays because the girl she shared her bedroom with had gone home. “The roommate I share with has gone home for the holidays so I guess you can take her bed.”

He seemed surprised when he entered the room, looking around. If he thought the room was too small to share with another person, he did not comment on it. Or perhaps that was her spoiled life shining through yet again. Anzu had never had to share a bedroom before and now she had to if she wanted to make rent. If any of the roommates left, they’d be on the hook for at least two hundred dollars more than they currently pay now and none of them would be able to make rent. “Alright,” was all he said as he placed his suitcase on the spare bed that Anzu had gestured to. She vaguely wondered if her roommate would be mad that Anzu was loaning out her bed but decided she didn’t care. “So... think you can show me around New York City?”

Anzu smiled, more than willing to take Yugi up on that offer. “Let me get showered and changed first.”

It was like they had never been apart. His hand was in hers with his fingers intertwining with hers as they bounded down Broadway, with Anzu pointing out the theaters she’d auditioned in and the places she’d met with potential casting directors. Networking had been most of her life these past few months and most of it had been her awkwardly trying to recreate a natural American accent to better fit in. It did not come easy to her – certain sounds still felt wrong in her mouth. It was like she’d been playing a parody of herself and now with Yugi, she could simply be. No longer did she stumble when trying to remember a word and no longer did she feel like she sounded stupid. Yugi, of course, wanted to see Times Square and Rockefeller. Anzu had long since gotten over the novelty of both places a few months back but she wanted to share it with Yugi anyway.

They were crowded and as per usual, Anzu and Yugi were the only ones who bothered to put on masks. Anzu had always thought that New Yorkers seemed to have little respect for those around them and for once, she was with someone who got it. She didn’t have to explain herself which had been a chore in itself. “Very noisy these Americans are,” Yugi noted, a scrunched up look on his face. The earmuffs seemed to be doing very little to muffle the noise that the New Yorkers and tourists were making. She supposed that it would be very exciting if this was their first time seeing it in person. “I don’t know how you stand it.”

“I rarely come to Times Square anymore,” Anzu said with a light shrug. Despite the fact that she was most over the novelty of the place, she couldn’t help but admire the flashing of the lights everywhere. It seemed almost magical in quality. “Though... it is pretty.”

She was surprised almost no one seemed to recognize Yugi for who he was. She supposed that could partially be attributed to the mask and the kippa he was wearing. Then again... New York City always carried the strangest feeling of anonymity. Like no matter how successful she got, she’d always be another faceless stranger to the people on the street here. It was somewhat comforting. “Yeah,” he remarked, though the comment seemed rather faraway. She turned to face him and he flushed. “I can see why you rarely come here. Seems like it had more appeal in the pictures than in real life.”

That just hit it on the head, didn’t it? Everything about this path had seemed so much more appealing in pictures than it had turned out being. It turns out that following her dreams meant aching and missing what she had in Domino City. It’s not that she wanted to go back home and stop chasing her dreams. It was that she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. And that made her feel guilty too, actually. There were people struggling and here she was complaining about having a shot to chase her dreams down. She paused, staring down at the street that billions of other feet had walked. How many others had felt the way she had? “I’m finding a lot of things have more appeal in pictures than they do in real life.”

The two of them had ducked into one of the tea houses that Anzu had fallen in love with. The couple that ran it were also from Japan and there was no need for her to try to speak English. She found the best spots in New York City felt like home. “What makes you think that?”

Now would be the best time to tell him, right? She’d have to eventually tell him that she wouldn’t be coming home next year either. But with his eyes so wide and kind, she found it hard to say the truth of it. “Just...,” she said, shaking her head before placing her usual order times two. She was sure Yugi would like it too. “It’s nice that you came all this way to be with me during Christmas.”

“Of course,” he said as they found a secluded booth. There was little privacy in New York City but it seemed like she could find tiny spots like this. “I couldn’t let you be alone during Christmas.”

He was blushing and Anzu tried to understand what in that statement was worth blushing over. Either way, it was nice to have company for once. For a moment, neither of them spoke before Anzu realized it truly was now or never. “Uh, Yugi,” she said, hesitating when Yugi’s full attention turned on her. “My professors think that I have a lot of talent and... they’ve been setting up auditions for me. If everything goes right... I could be in a production next year. I probably won’t be able to come home for another year at that rate.”

“That’s great,” he exclaimed, looking honestly proud of her. It caused an ache in her chest as she realized that she both liked that he was happy for her and disliked that he didn’t immediately try to fight for her. The tea had been set in front of them but Anzu was more focused on Yugi than the tea itself. She hadn’t realized that she’d moved closer to him. “That means that your dreams are working out, right?”

Of course Yugi would encourage her to chase her dreams even if it meant spending more time apart. This was her dream, after all. However... she’d only just now realized there was a major part of it missing. She didn’t want this if it meant giving up Yugi. The only way forward was a path that Yugi was in. And now she was holding her heart in hand, willing to risk everything if it meant a shot at happiness. “Yugi,” she said, breaking the tension as gently as she could. “I... I’ve... I’ve missed you. I’m really glad you came.”

“Well, I couldn’t let you spend the holidays alone,” Yugi repeated and it seemed like he understood something she didn’t. In fact, it seemed like Yugi always understood something before she did. He was the one who understood and she was constantly just catching up. Did he already know what she was thinking? Did he know that she wanted him to kiss her? Did she even have to tell him how she really felt about him? So many questions and no answers unless she asked them. That was a terrifying idea in itself. “I mean, my mom wished you could’ve come home. Hannukah just wasn’t the same without you and she hated making the latkes on her own. Sorry I let you spend that alone, by the way.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay,” she said softly as he took her hand in his. He’d grown a couple of inches over the past years. Now they were both the same height. It was strange to think he didn’t need her to get things off the higher shelf for him anymore. Did he even need her anymore? It seemed like she might be just one more thing from his childhood that he wouldn’t get to keep. That didn’t seem fair to Anzu, actually. “At least I’m not spending Christmas alone. I’m... I’m sure mom and dad wish I was home right now, huh?”

Yugi nodded and for once, Anzu wish he could lie to her. She hated to think that her parents were upset. “But they’re proud of you,” he said quickly, reassuring her that it was okay even when it wasn’t. He was good at that. “Everyone’s really proud of you, Anzu. You’re taking a chance on your dreams and that’s good.”

As per usual, Yugi’s honesty meant that she could trust what he said was true. Even if it meant that for now, she was separated from everyone she cared about. Even if it meant spending holidays alone and a year of perpetually missing someone. The realization finally hit Anzu: her heart had never been in her hands. She’d left it in Domino City with Yugi when she’d left. And he had it still. And she could take it no more. “What if my dream isn’t entirely complete,” she asked, unable to stop herself anymore. “What if there’s something missing from my dream?”

His eyes were unreadable and a moment paused. Did he get it? “I miss him too, Anzu. I’m sorry that couldn’t work out.”

No, he didn’t. She knew exactly who the ‘he’ was – neither of them needed to say it. When Anzu was a teenager, she fancied herself in love with him. However... Anzu realized now that it wasn’t that. No, she thought of him as an idealized form of Yugi. But there had never been anything wrong with Yugi. Yugi was good on his own, no changes needed. She was sorry it took her so long to realize that. “No, not that,” she said, shaking her head. “I meant... you. You as you are. I... Sorry, that’s a lot,” she said, taking her hands away and turning away. “I know you have to go back to Domino. It’d be selfish of me to...”

He cut her off when he suddenly pulled her in closer and... oh! His lips were against hers, no second thought needed. He knew. He understood. “It’s not selfish,” he said when they parted, his arm sure around her. “Anzu... if you want to try with this... I think that’d be nice, actually. Just... only if you’re sure because this won’t be easy.”

Yugi was right: it wouldn’t be easy for the two of them to make this work. A long-distance relationship sounded completely insane on paper. He would go back to Domino City after the holidays to work on his game and she would stay here, finishing out school and doing the auditions lined up for her. They would rarely get to see each other and have to rely on letters, phone calls, and emails to stay in contact with each other. It would be so much easier for her to try to find someone to date here in New York City and that she would be able to see every day. It would be easier, yes, but it didn’t sound like something she wanted. And at this point, Anzu didn’t want the easy path. She wanted to fight for this like she’d fought to make her dreams come true. “I’m positive,” Anzu said softly, her hands finally reaching for the tea that was set in front of them. “If you’d like, you can be my Christmas present this year.”

“I’d like that,” he said softly as his arm dropped from around her shoulder to take her hand in his with his fingers interlacing with hers. As always, his hand in hers was a perfect fit. “Mind if I stay with you until New Year’s?”

Anzu laughed and nodded. “You can stay as long as you’d like,” she said. No, this wouldn’t be easy but it was definitely the worthwhile fight.


End file.
